baby's first deconstruction (possibly the most honest thing I've ever written)

beyond belief

Oh hey friends.

As I was putting this series together, I started thinking back to my childhood and reading some of my old journals. I’ve always processed my inner and outer world through writing and while looking back through these things, I was so comforted by the reminder that I have always been exactly who I am right now. The only difference is that childhood Kristen was tormented by who she was. Adult Kristen has fully embraced herself.

My journals and poetry and even my short stories and letters (written but never sent) tell the story of a little girl who was earnestly seeking to be pleasing to God. I didn’t understand him, I had a lot of questions, but I wanted his love so desperately. I have hundreds and hundreds of pages of writing and almost all of them have scribbles of a child, a teenager, and a young adult, seeking to make sense of the God she grew up with. But gosh, were there some deep questions and longings mixed in with the typical evangelical kid rhetoric!

This was my 12 year old bucket list :