the good in nostalgia

wintering | volume 3

Nostalgia is a powerful thing. When we look back and remember how things were, our minds add a special kind of glow to those memories. Things were different than they are now. They felt different. They looked different. We were different. It’s so powerful that it used to be considered a mental illness! They called it a “neurological disease of essentially demonic cause.” The doctor that coined the phrase “nostalgia” combined the Greek words for “homecoming” and “pain.” Essentially calling nostalgia a debilitating type of homesickness. Later it was classified as “immigrant psychosis” and a compulsive disorder referred to as “melancholia.” So you know, good times.

Listen, whatever they call it, I have it and I don’t want to be cured.

We’ve made some scientific developments since then and now we know that nostalgia is good and can actually help us. Remembering the times in our lives that were joyful triggers signals to our brains that fight stress. In our family we tell Appreciation Stories that are just moments in our lives that we remember that made us happy. As we tell the story, we describe how our bodies felt, what emotions we felt. As we remember the details, our brain is sort of tricked into thinking that it’s happening right now and all the joy and serotonin we felt in the past, we feel in the moment as we retell the story.

When you find yourself caught up in a moment of nostalgia, pay attention to what you’re remembering. Sometimes nostalgia can make us feel regret, but instead of dwelling on that, draw out what you love and what brings your joy. Think about how you can bring the good feelings from the past into the day you’re living right now.

Since it’s Christmas, think about your most nostalgic Christmas. What made it so special? What did you eat? What did you do? Who was there? How do you feel as you remember it?

I shared about mine here a few years ago » A Tale of Tents and Miracles.

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In this wintering volume ..

Something to do
Something to watch
Something to drink
Something to think about
Winter outfits that sleigh

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Nostalgic Christmas Ideas :
If you want to do a little nod back to Christmases past, here are some fun ideas :

* host a 1950’s Christmas dinner and serve vintage Christmas dishes. Some of them are actually scary, but these are nice.
* find vintage holiday cards and send those out instead of modern ones
* make a popcorn string for the tree while you listen to Christmas music
* dry oranges and hang them on your mantel
* make baked goodies for your neighbors and hand deliver them on Christmas Eve

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Something to do :
In the last episode of my favorite show, The Office, one of the characters, Andy, is reflecting on the years they spent working together. He says, “I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.” Part of the magic of nostalgia is that when we look back, we mostly just remember the good things. The feelings, the smells, the laughter, the comfort, the joy. I think it’s probably safe to say that wherever you are in your life right now, one day, you’ll look back at the moment you’re in right now and think, “Those were the good old days.”

So this week, instead of focusing on the rush of Christmas, let’s set some time aside to create some memories with our family and friends. Zach and I call these “serotonin deposits.” A little happiness now and then a lifetime of joy when we look back on these days.

• Have a “fancy dinner” night. Dress up in your best waitress/waiter attire (or, if you have kids, let them be the servers!) and turn your kitchen table into a fancy restaurant. You can do this with the whole family, with a partner, with friends, with your parents, or - with yourself! And just a little tip, posh English accents really turn it up a notch. Unless you already have a posh English accent, in which case, can I have your life, thanks.

• Decorate cookies while you watch a Christmas movie

• Christmas Eve-Eve book exchange. We’ve been doing this with our kids for a few years and it’s one of our favorite activities! Pick a day to go the thrift store and pick out books for each other. Wrap them up and exchange them before bed. Tell each other why you chose the book and why you thought they’d like it.

• Kidchuterie - relieve yourself of at least one night of making dinner the week of Christmas and load a couple of cutting boards up with snacks : crackers, cheese, popcorn, veggies, etc. Turn a movie on and relax. They’ll be fed and happy and so will you! If you don’t have kids, we call this “girl dinner” and the same rules apply.

• Christmas lights drive - take a drive through the most festive neighborhood and enjoy the lights. Bring something warm to drink with you, wear your Christmas pajamas, turn on your favorite Christmas playlist, and try not to think about what needs to get done this week. If you have children, add a little to the magic by sending them to bed for a few minutes first. Then, go up to their rooms, “wake” them up, and tell them you’re going for a drive. Pass out hot chocolate in disposable coffee cups, get in the car, and take them for a “late” night drive.

It’s never too early or too late to start new traditions. No matter what stage of life you’re in, one day you’ll feel nostalgic for the moment you’re in right now. Give yourself the gift of something to look back on and cherish. I’d love to hear what traditions you have or which ones you plan to start!

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Something to watch :
It’s the Christmas movie home stretch, so I made this Christmas movie bucket list for us. This is a checklist without Love Actually and including Die Hard because I’m in the camp that Love Actually is infuriating and Die Hard is a Christmas movie. If you share in your stories, tag me so I can see how many you’ve checked off this year!

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Something to drink :

I think we need all the cozy drinks this week, so let’s give a lavender fog a go. This is one of my favorite winter drinks. I promise I don’t only drink Earl Grey tea, but I do love it. This is basically just an earl grey latte with a bit of lavender syrup.

Lavender Fog :

▢ 2 Earl Grey tea bags
▢ milk
▢ 1-2 tablespoon lavender syrup or to your taste

1. steep your tea bags in hot water for 3-5 minutes
2. heat up your milk of choice + froth it
3. pour the frothed milk over the tea + stir in lavender syrup

A super easy way to make lavender syrup is to get dried lavender flowers, pour some hot water over a tablespoon or so, and then add some sugar. Here’s a recipe for a big batch.

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Winter Outfits that Sleigh :
You don’t need to put on hard pants to slay, my friends. A sweater set like this is prefect for lounging around the house, school drop off and pick up, or a grocery run. It’s like wearing a blanket all day, but… chic. I got this off the tiktok shop, but I found a similar one on Amazon!

And because this is the nostalgia edition, let’s look back at some vintage winter fashion that truly slayed …

1920/1937

1950

1984

1989

1990s

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something to think about :
I’ve shared this piece of writing before, a few years ago, so I hope you don’t mind. <3

All throughout Scripture, God calls us to remember. To remember him, to remember his words, his commands, his promises, to remember what he’s done for us. We mark a day each week to remember creation and honor the order he created it with. We remember his death, his resurrection, and next week, we’ll remember his birth.

In remembering, we honor what’s passed. At Christmas, we honor the birth of Christ, yes, but also his incarnation. We tend to focus on what his birth meant for us and often forget to reflect on what his taking on flesh meant for him. The story of Christ’s coming isn’t just that God became a man who taught and died and rose again. The story is also that God took on a different form, came to earth the way all humans do, grew into a man, and is still a man.

God as an embryo? Who can wrap their mind around that? What love it must have taken to do that ..

We take a story like the birth of Christ and break it into compartments and simplify it into something that will fit inside a manger, and it’s certainly easier to remember it that way. But there’s so much more mystery.

Christ’s love for us was so expansive, that he became like us and he stayed like us. I’ve loved him my whole life and I still don’t understand it. But I’ve learned to rest in the mystery and to trust him in it.

In remembering his birth, we honor what we can know about him. And in remembering, we honor the mystery. As we remember and as we honor, we hold on to the hope that one day, we’ll understand fully this strange story that we’re in.

I’ve learned to be comfortable in the mystery and to trust that all that I don’t understand will make sense one day. Until then, I know that I’m safe in the arms of God, whose love is unfathomably wide and penetrates the fabric of space, time, and matter, to be with the ones he loves.

That’s us, by the way.

What a beautiful thing to remember. A Christ nostalgia, of sorts.

I hope you have a beautiful, warm, and loving season, friends.

I’ll see you next Monday,
Kristen

P.S. In the wintering community, we’re having a fun little gift exchange! hop into the discord channel, read the post on how to participate, and share your list!

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coming up »
+ Friday (for paid subscribers) - the Christmases when we have nothing
+ Monday - the Christmas edition