the tapestry of being human

(and some photos from my book release party)

oh hey friends.

I’m sitting on my bed, thinking about this week and trying to process all of my emotions about releasing a book into the world. Writing you this late at night kind of makes it feel like we’re just friends sitting around a living room, unguarded and freely, safely, talking.

Last night, we had about 50 or so people come to celebrate the (almost) release of Even if He Doesn’t. Zach’s mom and stepdad, his step sister and step brother and their families, my mom, one of my brothers, and my sister and her family - all the usual suspects at a party like that. But there was also our friend Rachael, who was a kid in the first youth group Zach and I led before we were even married. Our realtor, Manny, came with his wife. We had a whole corner full of people who had been a part of the church where we were hurt. Zach’s youth leaders who were also an instrumental part of our healing after we left that church were there. One of our pastors from our college years and his wife, both dear friends to us, came. My friend, Ari, whom I met when she was in her own pregnancy crisis, long before I had my own, our college professor (who always felt more like a friend, even then.) came. My new friend, Claudia, whom I met because she also has twin daughters with a similar story so we connected through that shared understanding, came and we got to meet and hug in person for the first time.

It was a beautiful collision of our worlds and chapters of our lives. The whole party felt like the acknowledgement section at the end of a book. Everything that I am and everything that I’ve overcome, has been woven together with the people who were in that room last night.

The party was for me and to celebrate me writing a book, but every person that walked through the door was greeted like they were the reason we were all there. We yelled, we hugged, we walked them around the room to introduce them to other people. It wasn’t something we decided ahead of time, it just flowed naturally out of who we are, how we genuinely feel about the people in our lives, and how the people in our lives welcome each other in, no questions asked.

It wasn’t a culturally, ethnically, or spiritually homogeneous get-together. Parties tend to be a reflection of your life and my and Zach’s lives have invited a wide range of belief systems, affiliations, and cultural/religious backgrounds. We don’t all agree, we don’t all have the same worldviews, we definitely will not all vote the same this year, and we don’t all have the same ideas about who God is.

And yet - the room was full of an equitable amount of love, joy, acceptance, and celebration. I just think it’s beautiful how God weaves our stories together and leaves nothing to waste. If you learn to notice his movements, you’ll start to recognize him even when you aren’t looking for him. I look at photos from last night and all I can see is a beautiful tapestry of grace, healing, compassion, forgiveness, joy, frustration, and acceptance. That tapestry has bore witness to all the messy and beautiful parts of being human and being human together.

Having a release party a few days before the book is released was a great idea. It’s given me a second wind to see this book launch through and to celebrate what God as done and what he’s doing and how his people have carried him to me and carried me to him through every season (even the ones where I was hard to carry) of my life.

I’m grateful. And so, so excited.