I haven't had my morning tea yet, so my brain is still foggy, so I'm not sure this will all come out the way I want it to, but I want to write it now so I don't forget. As someone who hasn't experienced church trauma, had the kind of struggles you've had, I just appreciate you being willing to share your stories and I learn so much from them, and honestly am saying, "What in the world?!?!?!" a lot of times.😬😁 I just am so sorry that you, and everyone else that has gone through these sorts of things, just absolutely awful. I don't want to ramble on and on, but my faith story is different from yours, but like you, Christ has always been there. The one word that keeps jumping out at me throughout this series is the word "Quiet." As a life-long ELCA Lutheran that moved to Tennessee 6 years ago and did do some church shopping before still ending up back in a Lutheran church, the one thing I kept saying after visiting every non-denominational church was, "My faith is just not that loud. I don't need my sermons shouted at me, I need more than just all the music and the sermon, my faith and my relationship with God is just quieter than that." More and more I share with others how my faith is quiet.(I could ramble on about how I think there is a connection for me and my hearing loss with that too) I'm a full believer in the idea that everyone just needs to find whatever works for them to help them grow in their relationship with God, because bottom line that relationship is the key to everything.
I'm just grateful to be at the beginning of this new journey of yours, so excited to see the growth, learning and community! I appreciate you, Kristen!
I could cry tears of thankfulness for these words. Thank you for how you’ve helped to put words to my experience, made a space where I could feel understood, and helped to show some of the path forward. We are not alone ♥️
I am so excited for this and so so grateful! This is exactly what I need!
Quick question (possibly dumb question 😜)… I am already on the paid subscription option. Does that count? Or would another upgrade be needed to also be part of the group? No problem either way, just wanted to check :) Thank you for doing all of this! So so good!
So thankful for how you have been sharing in this series. We find ourselves with one foot still in traditional church and the other out with our body trying to lean us out completely. Looking forward to what is coming in this community.
It’s been hard to put words to it and I’m SO grateful to you for sharing and building a space for people to figure it out and still build their relationship with the Lord. I didn’t realize how much hurt I experienced at my previous employer, a large Christian non-profit. It’s been hard to reconcile since I’ve also experienced some of my greatest blessings there. The election really put the nail in the proverbial coffin for me. I haven’t been able to even bring myself to go to church in months and I blamed it on being lazy but now I know it’s not that. But look how God works. I was online for hours last night researching churches again and I was so sad because it just didn’t feel right going. Then I saw your post in my email and I felt like they were my words. I felt comforted, like God was saying “I understand but you have to stay connected to my body”. I opened a substack account so I can be part of what you’re doing. I feel hopeful and that’s a good thing.
I was in tears reading the last portion of this post and I am in tears writing this. The tears started when I read "Who is this for? - if you've ever whispered, 'I don't know what I believe anymore.'" I can't count the number times I've said exactly that in the past 6 months, and not just whispering, but saying it out loud, yelling it, saying through tears, and saying to a select few people. Also saying "I don't know what anything is anymore" and throwing my hands up in the air in defeat. My faith has been pretty much shattered for a while (although I finally came to the realization and acceptance of it last year), and the image I equate it to and the visual that comes to my mind is a demolished house. That demolished house has sat there for many months, and I've always felt it's presence, looming over me in a way, but I've tried to ignore it because it's too much to even start thinking about what to do about it. I've been so scared to start walking through it, sorting through the rubble and everything from my past, trying to determine what, if anything, I want to keep as I either rebuild it or build a completely new house with a new foundation. I've been scared to start because I don't know what will happen when I do or where I will end up, and that terrifies me. I'm scared this path will lead me away from my faith entirely, and I don't want that. At least right now I don't think I do. And in that demolished house that is now to the ground with rubble everywhere, I don't know what is/was actually mine, and what is/was others' that I just took on as mine, not knowing what else to do at the time, maybe thinking that's what I was supposed to do. I feel completely lost and overwhelmed. I've been putting off starting this journey going through my demolished house because I didn't know where or how to start. I've known I need to and I've been trying to encourage myself to start, even if it's just one tiny step at a time, one corner of a room at a time, but it's been hard. This series and everything that it is and will be is exactly what I've been needing to help me start this journey, and it's coming at the perfect time. I already feel so seen and welcomed, not judged or criticized for being in this place, and I thank you so so much for doing this, creating this, and sharing this.
I’ve been reading your posts and newsletters about this, and I genuinely don’t know if I’m missing something because I feel like you’ve been doing this all along? I think the structure and name will be really great, but it all seems very familiar to what I’ve been reading from you for years. Can you define the big change you are making (if any)?
Thank you for saying that because it IS what I’ve been doing all along 😂 I’m just naming it. The biggest piece of this is the liminal way community, which I have made sure to be clear is open to any one and every one. That clarity is important to me and has invited quite the criticism behind the scenes. Which - I knew was coming. But also - the biggest change is within ME (in no longer submitting to the pressure that those with more conservative “theologically safe” voices in my life have put on me about what I do. That change, I suspect, will be more noticeable in the following months as I write more boldly about things I’ve always written about.
Okay, good I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing something huge. 😂 I appreciate your work because although I tend to fall pretty traditional in my understanding of scripture, I have friends and family that interpret the Bible very differently. I have always tried to model for my kids that we love people we disagree with and we study before we form opinions. Your writing has always been encouraging to me because you give people the space to figure out what they think and what is true, and that is really needed. Liminal is a great word for it!
I haven't had my morning tea yet, so my brain is still foggy, so I'm not sure this will all come out the way I want it to, but I want to write it now so I don't forget. As someone who hasn't experienced church trauma, had the kind of struggles you've had, I just appreciate you being willing to share your stories and I learn so much from them, and honestly am saying, "What in the world?!?!?!" a lot of times.😬😁 I just am so sorry that you, and everyone else that has gone through these sorts of things, just absolutely awful. I don't want to ramble on and on, but my faith story is different from yours, but like you, Christ has always been there. The one word that keeps jumping out at me throughout this series is the word "Quiet." As a life-long ELCA Lutheran that moved to Tennessee 6 years ago and did do some church shopping before still ending up back in a Lutheran church, the one thing I kept saying after visiting every non-denominational church was, "My faith is just not that loud. I don't need my sermons shouted at me, I need more than just all the music and the sermon, my faith and my relationship with God is just quieter than that." More and more I share with others how my faith is quiet.(I could ramble on about how I think there is a connection for me and my hearing loss with that too) I'm a full believer in the idea that everyone just needs to find whatever works for them to help them grow in their relationship with God, because bottom line that relationship is the key to everything.
I'm just grateful to be at the beginning of this new journey of yours, so excited to see the growth, learning and community! I appreciate you, Kristen!
I could cry tears of thankfulness for these words. Thank you for how you’ve helped to put words to my experience, made a space where I could feel understood, and helped to show some of the path forward. We are not alone ♥️
I am so excited for this and so so grateful! This is exactly what I need!
Quick question (possibly dumb question 😜)… I am already on the paid subscription option. Does that count? Or would another upgrade be needed to also be part of the group? No problem either way, just wanted to check :) Thank you for doing all of this! So so good!
So thankful for how you have been sharing in this series. We find ourselves with one foot still in traditional church and the other out with our body trying to lean us out completely. Looking forward to what is coming in this community.
It’s been hard to put words to it and I’m SO grateful to you for sharing and building a space for people to figure it out and still build their relationship with the Lord. I didn’t realize how much hurt I experienced at my previous employer, a large Christian non-profit. It’s been hard to reconcile since I’ve also experienced some of my greatest blessings there. The election really put the nail in the proverbial coffin for me. I haven’t been able to even bring myself to go to church in months and I blamed it on being lazy but now I know it’s not that. But look how God works. I was online for hours last night researching churches again and I was so sad because it just didn’t feel right going. Then I saw your post in my email and I felt like they were my words. I felt comforted, like God was saying “I understand but you have to stay connected to my body”. I opened a substack account so I can be part of what you’re doing. I feel hopeful and that’s a good thing.
I was in tears reading the last portion of this post and I am in tears writing this. The tears started when I read "Who is this for? - if you've ever whispered, 'I don't know what I believe anymore.'" I can't count the number times I've said exactly that in the past 6 months, and not just whispering, but saying it out loud, yelling it, saying through tears, and saying to a select few people. Also saying "I don't know what anything is anymore" and throwing my hands up in the air in defeat. My faith has been pretty much shattered for a while (although I finally came to the realization and acceptance of it last year), and the image I equate it to and the visual that comes to my mind is a demolished house. That demolished house has sat there for many months, and I've always felt it's presence, looming over me in a way, but I've tried to ignore it because it's too much to even start thinking about what to do about it. I've been so scared to start walking through it, sorting through the rubble and everything from my past, trying to determine what, if anything, I want to keep as I either rebuild it or build a completely new house with a new foundation. I've been scared to start because I don't know what will happen when I do or where I will end up, and that terrifies me. I'm scared this path will lead me away from my faith entirely, and I don't want that. At least right now I don't think I do. And in that demolished house that is now to the ground with rubble everywhere, I don't know what is/was actually mine, and what is/was others' that I just took on as mine, not knowing what else to do at the time, maybe thinking that's what I was supposed to do. I feel completely lost and overwhelmed. I've been putting off starting this journey going through my demolished house because I didn't know where or how to start. I've known I need to and I've been trying to encourage myself to start, even if it's just one tiny step at a time, one corner of a room at a time, but it's been hard. This series and everything that it is and will be is exactly what I've been needing to help me start this journey, and it's coming at the perfect time. I already feel so seen and welcomed, not judged or criticized for being in this place, and I thank you so so much for doing this, creating this, and sharing this.
I’ve been reading your posts and newsletters about this, and I genuinely don’t know if I’m missing something because I feel like you’ve been doing this all along? I think the structure and name will be really great, but it all seems very familiar to what I’ve been reading from you for years. Can you define the big change you are making (if any)?
Thank you for saying that because it IS what I’ve been doing all along 😂 I’m just naming it. The biggest piece of this is the liminal way community, which I have made sure to be clear is open to any one and every one. That clarity is important to me and has invited quite the criticism behind the scenes. Which - I knew was coming. But also - the biggest change is within ME (in no longer submitting to the pressure that those with more conservative “theologically safe” voices in my life have put on me about what I do. That change, I suspect, will be more noticeable in the following months as I write more boldly about things I’ve always written about.
Okay, good I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing something huge. 😂 I appreciate your work because although I tend to fall pretty traditional in my understanding of scripture, I have friends and family that interpret the Bible very differently. I have always tried to model for my kids that we love people we disagree with and we study before we form opinions. Your writing has always been encouraging to me because you give people the space to figure out what they think and what is true, and that is really needed. Liminal is a great word for it!