I can really relate to this... feeling fraudulent but also inadequate and then wondering what it meant about my faith. And now we’re attending a Lutheran church (the “frozen chosen” 😂). I’m at the point where I just don’t think so many of these issues really matter and I’m angry that they cause people so much grief and confusion (and I’ll extend that to the Lutherans being stuck up about their “things” haha).
Our church teaches that "speaking in tongues" in the Bible is referring to speaking in known languages for the sake of the Gospel. And that what occurred in the book of Acts was a supernatural gfting from the Holy Spirit that allowed the apostles to speak in a language not learned or studied by them in order to tell about what God had done. People from all known nations were in Jerusalem at that particular time and were able to hear and understand the Good News! This was one of the ways in which Divine intervention allowed the Gospel to spread throughout the world rapidly. To me, this seems to be more in line with other Scripture rather than a "gift" being solely for the purpose/enjoyment/validation of self. Thoughts?
I think there's a lot of mystery in what happened in Acts 2 and in what happens today! I'm comfortable with the mystery of it, but I lean towards believing like your church teaches!
I so appreciate this story. I also laughed at the book you were reading in the picture and if your going to tread into that territory at some point ( deliverance). I grew up catholic then got saved at 39 yrs old at an AG church so one can only imagine I have experienced all of what you talk about and also the decade later ensuing manipulation and church hurt. I remember members of our church praying for Catholics because they truly believed they you’d burn in hell. All in all I believe that wounded people walk into churches to feel accepted and loved into a “family” because theirs was broken ( like most people) and the local church very frequently takes FULL advantage of those people and their wounds. I think that is sad and hurtful but in the end God uses it to kind of open our eyes and deconstruct our way into our own real and personal faith and relationship... it’s like instead of inheriting our faith and beliefs from friends or family the Lord allows that no nonsense to help us have our own personal and AUTHENTIC relationship with Him. So I have been thanking the Lord for my church hurt and experiences because it’s bringing me closer to Him and a way I never could be if I would have stayed in that environment. Also the whole “pressure “ to speak in tongues is sad and dangerous practice . My old church has made it a requirement to be in the worship team or serve In a higher capacity. Instead of doing salvation alter calls they do “ tongues calls”. Ridiculous. They also require ( it’s typed out on a paper that needs to be signed ) that you vote conservatively to be part of “ church leadership and serving). Lol! That is how scary it’s getting ... which I don’t even think is legal to maintain non-profit status. A lot of sad and crazy things are happening in evangelical circles and I’m sure it saddens the heart of Jesus.
I so appreciate your articulation of this experience. I too grew up seeking the gift of tongues (though I never heard it taught as a requirement for ministry) and have never been filled with the spirit in this way. Thankfully, I’m mostly at peace with it now (I trust that Gods gifts to me will or will not come in his timing). I know people who I believe had legitimate experiences and have been in situations where things definitely felt forced. The hardest thing for me is that people who speak in tongues don’t know what to do with people who don’t - there’s some layer of judgement about quality of faith and commitment. Conversation amongst people with these different experiences feels vulnerable and fruitless. Has this issue affected the depth of connection and conversation you’ve been able to have now with friends who believe or experienced differently than you have?
Great question! But no, it hasn't really affected connection or conversations in a negative way. Thankfully, the people in my life are more "live and let live" these days!
I'd be super interested to know what you consider to be actual speaking in tongues. I grew up in a very similar denomination (idk which denom you were from) and I struggled with this SO much as a teenager. I felt all the "say Coca-Cola over and over" and baby babble stuff was bs and was very resistant (and I was a PK 😅). It wasn't until my 20s that a mentor explained tongues in a way that clicked. She said that it's simply our faith that separates tongues from gibberish, in the same way that it's faith that enables us to know our prayers are actual communication with God and not just talking to ourselves. She'd probably be very disappointed to know that I currently don't remember the last time I "practiced my spiritual language" lol but I've always remembered that conversation. So I guess my question is, how does one know whether or not they've spoken in tongues? Or at least, how did you come to the realization that what you had spoken wasn't tongues and was just gibberish?
I can't really speak to knowing if you've spoken in tongues, but I definitely know the moment that I was filled with the Spirit. It was years earlier, I was alone, and I felt convicted about something and obeyed that conviction. It was the first time I could remember choosing to do something out of love for God instead of fear of getting in trouble. I instinctively knew it was the Holy Spirit that empowered me to choose differently than I would've chosen otherwise.
I realized I had never spoken in tongues when I had few inexplicable supernatural experiences. They were nothing like what I experienced when I spoke in tongues. Experiencing the real thing helped me spot the counterfeit.
As far as what I believe now, I'm not really sure. I'm comfortable with the mystery of it and believe that God is capable of doing anything!
I love this SO much and can relate! I had a VERY uncomfortable experience at a church a long time ago, because they discovered I didn’t speak in tongues. After that I went to the Word for myself, and prayed honestly to God, and came away feeling very at peace that speaking in tongues wasn’t necessary to having the Holy Spirit, as I was made to feel. So many good words in this post. Thank you so much for sharing.
My first church was that denomination along with the college I attended (on two separate occasions lol) as you know. I felt inadequate at times knowing I didn't speak in tongues and I really tried to. As I learned more I fought against that thinking in the classroom and it got me nowhere but away from that denomination and the idea I was less than other Christians. This was a really good post on a subject I dealt with far too long. Thank you for your strength and insight on these topics.
Thank you! Maybe I'll do a series on women in the church soon. To put it simply - there is plenty of evidence of female church leadership in the New Testament and God appointing women in leadership positions in the Old Testament. I wouldn't do what I do if I didn't believe I was called and equipped to teach and lead. So, I believe in it!
This is really good. So many denominations elevate upper tier doctrines to core theology, and I definitely "inherited" some of those as part of my faith. I grew up Baptist, and speaking in tongues was fully rejected. One of my "deconstructions" has been eschatology views. I grew up thinking premill/dispensationalism was the ONLY Biblical view. Now I'm not sure what I believe in that area, but I know that's ok!
I think it’s so interesting how many parallels there are across denominations when it comes to things like this! Have your read Surprised by Hope by NT Wright? Really helped me shape my ideas and thoughts around end times things.
I haven't read that one, and thank you for the suggestion! I've been (slowly) working my way through Phylicia Masonheimer's Revelation study, and I'm working on seeing the text and ONLY the text (trying to push out all the Left Behind imagery from years of reading that series!). I'm so grateful that this life of following Jesus is a lifetime of learning and growing!
Kristen, this is so good. Thank you. ❤️
I can really relate to this... feeling fraudulent but also inadequate and then wondering what it meant about my faith. And now we’re attending a Lutheran church (the “frozen chosen” 😂). I’m at the point where I just don’t think so many of these issues really matter and I’m angry that they cause people so much grief and confusion (and I’ll extend that to the Lutherans being stuck up about their “things” haha).
there are so many parallels across denominations! we get so hung up on all the wrong things.
Our church teaches that "speaking in tongues" in the Bible is referring to speaking in known languages for the sake of the Gospel. And that what occurred in the book of Acts was a supernatural gfting from the Holy Spirit that allowed the apostles to speak in a language not learned or studied by them in order to tell about what God had done. People from all known nations were in Jerusalem at that particular time and were able to hear and understand the Good News! This was one of the ways in which Divine intervention allowed the Gospel to spread throughout the world rapidly. To me, this seems to be more in line with other Scripture rather than a "gift" being solely for the purpose/enjoyment/validation of self. Thoughts?
I think there's a lot of mystery in what happened in Acts 2 and in what happens today! I'm comfortable with the mystery of it, but I lean towards believing like your church teaches!
I so appreciate this story. I also laughed at the book you were reading in the picture and if your going to tread into that territory at some point ( deliverance). I grew up catholic then got saved at 39 yrs old at an AG church so one can only imagine I have experienced all of what you talk about and also the decade later ensuing manipulation and church hurt. I remember members of our church praying for Catholics because they truly believed they you’d burn in hell. All in all I believe that wounded people walk into churches to feel accepted and loved into a “family” because theirs was broken ( like most people) and the local church very frequently takes FULL advantage of those people and their wounds. I think that is sad and hurtful but in the end God uses it to kind of open our eyes and deconstruct our way into our own real and personal faith and relationship... it’s like instead of inheriting our faith and beliefs from friends or family the Lord allows that no nonsense to help us have our own personal and AUTHENTIC relationship with Him. So I have been thanking the Lord for my church hurt and experiences because it’s bringing me closer to Him and a way I never could be if I would have stayed in that environment. Also the whole “pressure “ to speak in tongues is sad and dangerous practice . My old church has made it a requirement to be in the worship team or serve In a higher capacity. Instead of doing salvation alter calls they do “ tongues calls”. Ridiculous. They also require ( it’s typed out on a paper that needs to be signed ) that you vote conservatively to be part of “ church leadership and serving). Lol! That is how scary it’s getting ... which I don’t even think is legal to maintain non-profit status. A lot of sad and crazy things are happening in evangelical circles and I’m sure it saddens the heart of Jesus.
Woahhh. pretty sure requiring people to vote a certain way will cost the church their tax exempt status! That's wild.
I so appreciate your articulation of this experience. I too grew up seeking the gift of tongues (though I never heard it taught as a requirement for ministry) and have never been filled with the spirit in this way. Thankfully, I’m mostly at peace with it now (I trust that Gods gifts to me will or will not come in his timing). I know people who I believe had legitimate experiences and have been in situations where things definitely felt forced. The hardest thing for me is that people who speak in tongues don’t know what to do with people who don’t - there’s some layer of judgement about quality of faith and commitment. Conversation amongst people with these different experiences feels vulnerable and fruitless. Has this issue affected the depth of connection and conversation you’ve been able to have now with friends who believe or experienced differently than you have?
Great question! But no, it hasn't really affected connection or conversations in a negative way. Thankfully, the people in my life are more "live and let live" these days!
I'd be super interested to know what you consider to be actual speaking in tongues. I grew up in a very similar denomination (idk which denom you were from) and I struggled with this SO much as a teenager. I felt all the "say Coca-Cola over and over" and baby babble stuff was bs and was very resistant (and I was a PK 😅). It wasn't until my 20s that a mentor explained tongues in a way that clicked. She said that it's simply our faith that separates tongues from gibberish, in the same way that it's faith that enables us to know our prayers are actual communication with God and not just talking to ourselves. She'd probably be very disappointed to know that I currently don't remember the last time I "practiced my spiritual language" lol but I've always remembered that conversation. So I guess my question is, how does one know whether or not they've spoken in tongues? Or at least, how did you come to the realization that what you had spoken wasn't tongues and was just gibberish?
I can't really speak to knowing if you've spoken in tongues, but I definitely know the moment that I was filled with the Spirit. It was years earlier, I was alone, and I felt convicted about something and obeyed that conviction. It was the first time I could remember choosing to do something out of love for God instead of fear of getting in trouble. I instinctively knew it was the Holy Spirit that empowered me to choose differently than I would've chosen otherwise.
I realized I had never spoken in tongues when I had few inexplicable supernatural experiences. They were nothing like what I experienced when I spoke in tongues. Experiencing the real thing helped me spot the counterfeit.
As far as what I believe now, I'm not really sure. I'm comfortable with the mystery of it and believe that God is capable of doing anything!
I love this SO much and can relate! I had a VERY uncomfortable experience at a church a long time ago, because they discovered I didn’t speak in tongues. After that I went to the Word for myself, and prayed honestly to God, and came away feeling very at peace that speaking in tongues wasn’t necessary to having the Holy Spirit, as I was made to feel. So many good words in this post. Thank you so much for sharing.
I'm really sorry you experienced that.
My first church was that denomination along with the college I attended (on two separate occasions lol) as you know. I felt inadequate at times knowing I didn't speak in tongues and I really tried to. As I learned more I fought against that thinking in the classroom and it got me nowhere but away from that denomination and the idea I was less than other Christians. This was a really good post on a subject I dealt with far too long. Thank you for your strength and insight on these topics.
I'm sorry you felt inadequate too! Thankful to be on the other side of that identity crisis!
How do you feel about women in church leadership? This teaching/preaching is so good.
Thank you! Maybe I'll do a series on women in the church soon. To put it simply - there is plenty of evidence of female church leadership in the New Testament and God appointing women in leadership positions in the Old Testament. I wouldn't do what I do if I didn't believe I was called and equipped to teach and lead. So, I believe in it!
This is really good. So many denominations elevate upper tier doctrines to core theology, and I definitely "inherited" some of those as part of my faith. I grew up Baptist, and speaking in tongues was fully rejected. One of my "deconstructions" has been eschatology views. I grew up thinking premill/dispensationalism was the ONLY Biblical view. Now I'm not sure what I believe in that area, but I know that's ok!
I think it’s so interesting how many parallels there are across denominations when it comes to things like this! Have your read Surprised by Hope by NT Wright? Really helped me shape my ideas and thoughts around end times things.
I haven't read that one, and thank you for the suggestion! I've been (slowly) working my way through Phylicia Masonheimer's Revelation study, and I'm working on seeing the text and ONLY the text (trying to push out all the Left Behind imagery from years of reading that series!). I'm so grateful that this life of following Jesus is a lifetime of learning and growing!
The Left Behind deconstruction is REAL.