my delight is not a sin || unfettered

part 9

The windows are down in my car. The sunroof is open. My phone is plugged into the aux and there’s a cup of iced cold peach lemonade from Chick fil A in my cup holder. I grab the steering wheel with both hands so I can steady myself while I belt the lyrics to my current favorite Taylor Swift song — 

“No one wanted play with me as a little kid. So I’ve been a scheming like a criminal ever since. To make them LOOOOVE me and make it seem effortless…”

The next song starts and I can’t help but bounce up and down in my seat and scream as loud as I can, 

“They say I did something BAAAAD. Then why’s it feel so GOOOOD?” 

I’ve never felt freer in my life. I no longer have shame or fear about whether or not I’m in right standing with God. I’m not keeping my life in a list of checks and balances. I’m no longer laying in bed each night, absolutely wrecked with anxiety about my sin and if I’ve done anything that day that would invite punishment or “correction” from my Creator. I’m not looking over at my shoulder to see if there are any Christians around judging me or waiting to “speak into my life for a moment.” And if they are, I’m not afraid of them. Shame was like scales on my back, digging into the bone, preventing me from moving, much less dancing and signing. I was in theological and social bondage for so long that singing a silly little pop song at the top of my lungs gives me the adrenaline rush of a bungie jump. 

It isn’t just the music that’s making me feel so liberated. It’s knowing that I’m safe and free. It’s relaxing into the love and the grace of God and knowing that my delight is not a sin and that the things that I enjoy don’t put me in animosity with him. 

As a people who believe that God is holy and that we’re meant to be like him, navigating what feels like a delicate balance between living out our human experience and being the righteous disciples he’s called us to be can be kind of confusing. There are far too many theological frameworks that have taken the route of “better safe than sorry” and excluded anything that isn’t overtly “Christian” from their lives. And I only use the quotations because a lot of the things that are deemed “Christian” should really be clarified as “culturally Christian.” Just because something has Christian themes or is popular in the contemporary western church, doesn’t make it an expression of Christ himself.

Things are very rarely as simple as “this is this and that is that.” The human experience is nuanced and multifaceted and multidimensional. We can shackle ourselves up to the rules that we make up, and in so doing, live in constant fear that we’re getting it wrong. Or we can trust in the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to convict and believe that Jesus is a good shepherd who will gently lead us. Shame and condemnation are never his weapons. When we feel those things, it isn’t coming from him. It could be from social pressure or theological weight, but never, ever, not ever, from the Creator.

Of course there are things I’ve enjoyed that weren’t sin but weren’t good for me and the Holy Spirit convicted me away from those things. Not everything we enjoy is good for us. But not every enjoyment is a sin and taking the route of “let’s just not do anything” denies the freedom that Christ has given you and creates self righteousness, which is in direct opposition to his character. If you’re so separate from everyone else that you can’t engage with the world around you at all, how will the world around you even see the light of Christ that’s in you?

The glory of God is all around us. I see him in everything. Blades of grass, minor chords, the lyrics of a song that teenage girls belt with all their hearts, the waves of the ocean, the plot line of a fantasy book about wizards, the confidence of a woman who feels beautiful, the gentleness of a man singing his baby to sleep, the sound of crickets as the sun is rising, the joy of a group of middle school girls preforming the whip and nae nae at summer camp. He’s in our laughter and our joy just as much as he’s present in our pain and our worship. He delights in us and he didn’t put us in human bodies and ordain a human experience for us just to demand that we reject our that experience in its entirety. Every breath you take is a gift to enjoy not something to hold until it’s all over.

No one can discern what’s right or what’s wrong for you, but dear lord will they try. Cancel target. Cancel Disney+. Cancel Netflix. Don’t go to Starbucks. Stop buying from that brand. Support this. Don’t support that. Go here. Don’t go there. Don’t go the Eras Tour, she’s a witch and she’s brainwashing you!! It’s moralism at its finest and it doesn’t make you more righteous, it doesn’t lead other people to the goodness of Christ, and it certainly doesn’t honor the Lord anymore than deciding what’s right and good and true on your own, with the wisdom of the Holy Spirit that’s already in you.

Delighting in the Creator and finding delight in created things aren’t mutually exclusive. We enjoy food. We buy clothes that make us feel comfortable and confident. We hang art on our walls. We change the background to our phone. We take pictures of the things that we love. We look at flowers. We enjoy the breeze. We delight because we were created to delight.

Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 says, “I know that there is nothing better than to rejoice and enjoy the good life. It is also the gift of God whenever anyone eats, drinks, and enjoys all his efforts.”

1 Timothy 6:17 says that God, “richly provides us with all things to enjoy”

Delight is not a sin.

It’s a joy.

And a gift.

And a beautiful part of being alive.

We weren’t created for a life of denial or indulgence, but of freedom. Only you can discern what that means for you.

One story and then we’ll wrap this up. When I met my husband, Zach, he was very much bought into an ascetic type of faith. He believed that he had to be constantly denying himself and sacrificing anything that brought him any kind of joy. He thought that the more severe and self denying he could be, the more holy and blessed he’d be. On the glorious January day when I walked into his life and captivated him with my humor and beauty and grace (LOL), he freaked out. He enjoyed being with me and wanted to be in a relationship with me, but he’d made a vow to God to avoid developing feelings for a girl. But we fell in love despite his best efforts to keep me at a distance and so he was in a constant battle between enjoyment and shame. The fact that I brought him any kind of joy made him feel like he was letting God down. The only way he was able to be happy in a relationship and to change his perspective was to take risks in stages. He needed to see that God wasn’t as severe as he was. At times, he felt like was sinning, event though he wasn’t. It was a theological bondage that felt like God, but was nothing more than religious restriction. He took tiny steps outside of those restraints and just had to trust that God was still with him, still loving him, still present with him. And spoiler alert — he was. 

I can’t tell you if your delight is a sin anymore than you can tell me that listening to Taylor Swift is. (I guess you could tell me that but you wouldn’t get very far.) All I can really tell you is that God is good and merciful and kind and gracious and holy and righteous and he makes us all of those things as we aim to be all of those things. We can enjoy our lives and all the things in them without fear. There’s no reason to set all of the things you like on fire just because they’re things you like.

So roll the windows down. Turn the music up. Turn your face to the sun and let is kiss your skin. You’re free, you’re loved, you’re safe

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found this lil sun bear graphic by wild bear designs and he just looks so delighted, doesn’t he. i love him, so i made this phone background for us. hope you like him too.

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