To say “take it up with the texts” is to completely abdicate responsibility for one’s delivery. Teachers are held to a higher standard, and that’s reckless and irresponsible. It’s also ignorant of the way toxic messages like this get stored in the body as trauma. Recently my little girl wanted to go to a church VBS with a friend, and I called the church to talk to the pastor about what would be taught and how topics like sin, hell, etc would be handled. I thought of your “letter to Ms. Debbie” and how a seemingly off-handed and flippant comment could cause years of distorted theology and trauma, which I also see in my religious trauma therapy clients. Hopefully with more awareness we can have less traumatized kids.
Wow that’s amazing for you to be such a protector for your daughter!! Most of the harmful messages I picked up and metabolized as kid came from places like that - VBS, camp, other adults outside of my home. It’s so important to know what our kids are being taught and to process with them what they’ve heard. More awareness indeed 👏👏
Oh my gosh, Kristen. Thank you SO much for this. Balm to my traumatized soul. I didn't quite grow up hearing this specific message, but I heard alot of harmful similar messages. This needs to be shouted from the rooftops. YES, the gospel is about how LOVED we are. NOT that we deserve to die. I cannot amen this enough.
Amen! Thank you for helping articulate this. I've wrestled with what the gospel is or how it should be taught as I watch my now grown children teach their children. I definitely don't want them to be in fear or think they're inherently bad. I love reading Jesus parables to my grandchildren, about God's relentless love for them (the lost sheep, the lost coin)
I think telling stories is the best way to introduce children to everything we know and love about our faith and our Creator. It’s how the Israelites did it. Story is God’s primary way of communicating with us. I think it’s the perfect way to communicate with children !
You have me re-visiting how Jesus centered the children. And gave them (to use the language of liberation theologians) "preferential option". There is something radically instructive about that. The Perry video was a way of centering an "adult gospel" and causing harm to the "least of these" (not causing harm in a hyperbolic sense... as in your own shared experience, this hurts kids and their future adult selves).
And to take it up with the text is the ongoing work. Like taking it up with the text that women were bought and sold in the Old Testament. Or that slavery was condoned. We quite literally NEED to take it up with the text. And protect kids from the "text without context." The Bible is not a kids book.
I actually thank you for this challenge and gentle rebuke. I was one who laughed at the video, mostly because I understand that frank personality, and though I thought it was a bit much and harsh, that was what made it funny to me. Like who put her in charge of the kids and why? Lol I also assumed anyone in that close of a relationship with her probably understood her demeanor.
But, I can see your point and even in this how I can be a better and more aware mama to my own. I feel like I’m softer with other people’s kids and it’s hard to know when to help them through that transition when you own kids have seen death and trauma up close. Thank you for the kind reminder of the little minds, and how hard it indeed is even for me as an adult.
I think it’s hard when you have a personality you feel like constantly doesn’t fit the “Christian girl” mold, and for me, a culture that doesn’t give you the same nuance you expressed here. It’s a valid point and one worth weight, but as a black girl in a black home, our interactions with our kids are a bit different culturally.
Not saying right or wrong, just an awareness that I have.
Anyway, I’m rambling but thank you. I appreciate your thoughts and your references to the character of God I definitely want to see in my home.
I’m taking this to the Lord and asking what should I lay down in pursuit of Him.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I have one of those personalities that is not very Christian girl as well (actually just wrote a book largely about that!). It’s ROUGH to live life feeling misunderstood and unwelcome so I get that.
When I worked with children, I quickly learned that my blunt, tell it like it is, black and white “take it up with the text” approach was harmful to them. And so I learned better methods and stopped working with children. And now that I have my own kids, my husband is always like “girl you need to reword that FAST.” LOL
I don’t know Jackie’s relationship with those children, so maybe they were all like “that’s just Jackie!” I hope so! I’ve just seen so much harm from this kind of approach. I think it’s so important to always be willing to do things differently for the kids.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response! I appreciate it so much.
Just a few weeks ago my brother was telling me about why he left Christianity and one of the stories he recounted was of a children’s church teacher who explained to him that we all deserve to go to hell. It gave him nightmares. Now as an adult he can’t reconcile the idea of a loving god with the fire and brimstone of the God this teacher shared with him.
It broke my heart to hear it.
So when I saw the reel you’re taking about it brought me right back to that broken place.
We have to be so careful about the picture of God that we paint in the minds of children 💔
I love that this conversation is happening. I don’t love that it’s based on what could just be a theological mishap by a popular speaker, but I love that this conversation is happening.
Somehow I have avoided running into the said post that's gone viral but your words are so powerful. May we all teach our kids God's love not some hate and shame put upon them.
To say “take it up with the texts” is to completely abdicate responsibility for one’s delivery. Teachers are held to a higher standard, and that’s reckless and irresponsible. It’s also ignorant of the way toxic messages like this get stored in the body as trauma. Recently my little girl wanted to go to a church VBS with a friend, and I called the church to talk to the pastor about what would be taught and how topics like sin, hell, etc would be handled. I thought of your “letter to Ms. Debbie” and how a seemingly off-handed and flippant comment could cause years of distorted theology and trauma, which I also see in my religious trauma therapy clients. Hopefully with more awareness we can have less traumatized kids.
Wow that’s amazing for you to be such a protector for your daughter!! Most of the harmful messages I picked up and metabolized as kid came from places like that - VBS, camp, other adults outside of my home. It’s so important to know what our kids are being taught and to process with them what they’ve heard. More awareness indeed 👏👏
The article we all needed to put cohesive words to deep spiritual groans. Thank you Kristen, this is the concept I hope to see go viral.
I prefer your approach to teaching children
Oh my gosh, Kristen. Thank you SO much for this. Balm to my traumatized soul. I didn't quite grow up hearing this specific message, but I heard alot of harmful similar messages. This needs to be shouted from the rooftops. YES, the gospel is about how LOVED we are. NOT that we deserve to die. I cannot amen this enough.
Amen! Thank you for helping articulate this. I've wrestled with what the gospel is or how it should be taught as I watch my now grown children teach their children. I definitely don't want them to be in fear or think they're inherently bad. I love reading Jesus parables to my grandchildren, about God's relentless love for them (the lost sheep, the lost coin)
I think telling stories is the best way to introduce children to everything we know and love about our faith and our Creator. It’s how the Israelites did it. Story is God’s primary way of communicating with us. I think it’s the perfect way to communicate with children !
You have me re-visiting how Jesus centered the children. And gave them (to use the language of liberation theologians) "preferential option". There is something radically instructive about that. The Perry video was a way of centering an "adult gospel" and causing harm to the "least of these" (not causing harm in a hyperbolic sense... as in your own shared experience, this hurts kids and their future adult selves).
And to take it up with the text is the ongoing work. Like taking it up with the text that women were bought and sold in the Old Testament. Or that slavery was condoned. We quite literally NEED to take it up with the text. And protect kids from the "text without context." The Bible is not a kids book.
I actually thank you for this challenge and gentle rebuke. I was one who laughed at the video, mostly because I understand that frank personality, and though I thought it was a bit much and harsh, that was what made it funny to me. Like who put her in charge of the kids and why? Lol I also assumed anyone in that close of a relationship with her probably understood her demeanor.
But, I can see your point and even in this how I can be a better and more aware mama to my own. I feel like I’m softer with other people’s kids and it’s hard to know when to help them through that transition when you own kids have seen death and trauma up close. Thank you for the kind reminder of the little minds, and how hard it indeed is even for me as an adult.
I think it’s hard when you have a personality you feel like constantly doesn’t fit the “Christian girl” mold, and for me, a culture that doesn’t give you the same nuance you expressed here. It’s a valid point and one worth weight, but as a black girl in a black home, our interactions with our kids are a bit different culturally.
Not saying right or wrong, just an awareness that I have.
Anyway, I’m rambling but thank you. I appreciate your thoughts and your references to the character of God I definitely want to see in my home.
I’m taking this to the Lord and asking what should I lay down in pursuit of Him.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I have one of those personalities that is not very Christian girl as well (actually just wrote a book largely about that!). It’s ROUGH to live life feeling misunderstood and unwelcome so I get that.
When I worked with children, I quickly learned that my blunt, tell it like it is, black and white “take it up with the text” approach was harmful to them. And so I learned better methods and stopped working with children. And now that I have my own kids, my husband is always like “girl you need to reword that FAST.” LOL
I don’t know Jackie’s relationship with those children, so maybe they were all like “that’s just Jackie!” I hope so! I’ve just seen so much harm from this kind of approach. I think it’s so important to always be willing to do things differently for the kids.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful response! I appreciate it so much.
Just a few weeks ago my brother was telling me about why he left Christianity and one of the stories he recounted was of a children’s church teacher who explained to him that we all deserve to go to hell. It gave him nightmares. Now as an adult he can’t reconcile the idea of a loving god with the fire and brimstone of the God this teacher shared with him.
It broke my heart to hear it.
So when I saw the reel you’re taking about it brought me right back to that broken place.
We have to be so careful about the picture of God that we paint in the minds of children 💔
We really do. :/
And can I please be added to the early readers list for your book? Asking for a friend.
I love that this conversation is happening. I don’t love that it’s based on what could just be a theological mishap by a popular speaker, but I love that this conversation is happening.
Somehow I have avoided running into the said post that's gone viral but your words are so powerful. May we all teach our kids God's love not some hate and shame put upon them.