I had a heart breaking moment of being misunderstood and judged last weekend by someone dear to me. Your words relate exceptionally well, but I'm still struggling. If healing comes from the presence of an empathetic witness or witnesses (and that's what the experts, such as Kurt Thomas are saying), how can I heal if no one is in that role? Literally, no one. Imagining Jesus and God may be my empathetic witnesses is only ever momentarily helpful.
This will be something I talk about in a full post. We DO need that and it is such a crucial piece of our healing. But we are harmed further by trying to get that out of people who aren’t capable of giving it.
Sorry cut it off too soon. When we let go of our need to be understood by people who are committed to misunderstanding, it frees us to find the people who WILL make room for our pain, bear witness to it, and help us heal.
I'm in a very isolated position due to trauma sustained over many years. Being with others who love me is even difficult🤷♀️. Being continually at war within is so exhausting. That deep inner critic, the Deceiver, continues to be the mother-of-all adversaries.
(Now it's judging all the above references to "me, I, I'm, etc. 👆)(AARGH 🙄)
I experienced this deep loss of understanding from friends during a divorce. It was my first real experience of losing people you thought got you. But life changes and tragedy often expose false friendships, but sometimes this is also making room for people who really do care and want to travel and grow with us. It’s like the way a forest fire makes room for new plants - so painful but so beautiful in the end! Thanks for writing and encouraging!
"I'm learning that it's impossible to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you" is a quote from Lecrae's memoir and it's my faveeeee
As always your words have hit my heart in the deepest of ways in a season when I most need to hear them. Thank you for being vulnerable, raw, and authentic. I am grateful for all of it. I am grateful for you.
I cannot express in mere words what this post means to me. It came EXACTLY when I needed it. How can this be anything but the power of God at work, through his Holy Spirit working through and in us??!
Will be sharing with the people in my life whom I love deeply.
I need this reminder badly, given what happened to me in the past week-- thank you for this post. I still have the nagging insecurity & bind that the crisis may be my fault, and if people understood me they wouldn't be so mad or indifferent-- which puts my worth in their eyes rather than Jesus's. As an Enneagram 4 who also has ADHD and Bipolar disorder-- for which I have stayed consistent in treatment since diagnosis-- nonetheless, I am more impulsive and emotionally reactive under stress than most other people. In every job I've had, at one point or another I've been scolded and/or disciplined for either something impulsive or for being emotionally reactive. Almost every time I'm blindsided, because the mistakes don't always seem like mistakes to me (but they are in the eyes of the boss or coworker). And I'm so exhausted because I can't tell them my diagnoses-- they would be even less empathetic-- and I'm exhausted by my faults and mistakes.
This is so true. When my world fractured three years ago, I talked about it to EVERYONE. I had to. Some people met me with compassion and some didn’t want to hear it. Just today I told my story again and in a totally different way - through the lens of “I’m so much better now than where I was before.” Healing does come; you WILL be okay.
Your words come with impressive timing. ♥️
I needed this today. Thank you so much 🖤
Thank you for this 🙏🏼
I had a heart breaking moment of being misunderstood and judged last weekend by someone dear to me. Your words relate exceptionally well, but I'm still struggling. If healing comes from the presence of an empathetic witness or witnesses (and that's what the experts, such as Kurt Thomas are saying), how can I heal if no one is in that role? Literally, no one. Imagining Jesus and God may be my empathetic witnesses is only ever momentarily helpful.
This will be something I talk about in a full post. We DO need that and it is such a crucial piece of our healing. But we are harmed further by trying to get that out of people who aren’t capable of giving it.
Sorry cut it off too soon. When we let go of our need to be understood by people who are committed to misunderstanding, it frees us to find the people who WILL make room for our pain, bear witness to it, and help us heal.
I'm in a very isolated position due to trauma sustained over many years. Being with others who love me is even difficult🤷♀️. Being continually at war within is so exhausting. That deep inner critic, the Deceiver, continues to be the mother-of-all adversaries.
(Now it's judging all the above references to "me, I, I'm, etc. 👆)(AARGH 🙄)
Yup.
I experienced this deep loss of understanding from friends during a divorce. It was my first real experience of losing people you thought got you. But life changes and tragedy often expose false friendships, but sometimes this is also making room for people who really do care and want to travel and grow with us. It’s like the way a forest fire makes room for new plants - so painful but so beautiful in the end! Thanks for writing and encouraging!
This is phenomenally good. A true and necessary word. Thank you.
"I'm learning that it's impossible to explain yourself to people who are committed to misunderstanding you" is a quote from Lecrae's memoir and it's my faveeeee
Well gosh ♥️. Thank you.
What if I told you that reading this post just now was a form of intervention? It was. Please keep writing about the fall outs of pain.
As always your words have hit my heart in the deepest of ways in a season when I most need to hear them. Thank you for being vulnerable, raw, and authentic. I am grateful for all of it. I am grateful for you.
Oh my did I need this. Thank you 🙏🏼just forwarded to my mother, too!
O my goodness, dear girl 🥹.
I cannot express in mere words what this post means to me. It came EXACTLY when I needed it. How can this be anything but the power of God at work, through his Holy Spirit working through and in us??!
Will be sharing with the people in my life whom I love deeply.
Thank you so much. 🙏🤍🙏
I need this reminder badly, given what happened to me in the past week-- thank you for this post. I still have the nagging insecurity & bind that the crisis may be my fault, and if people understood me they wouldn't be so mad or indifferent-- which puts my worth in their eyes rather than Jesus's. As an Enneagram 4 who also has ADHD and Bipolar disorder-- for which I have stayed consistent in treatment since diagnosis-- nonetheless, I am more impulsive and emotionally reactive under stress than most other people. In every job I've had, at one point or another I've been scolded and/or disciplined for either something impulsive or for being emotionally reactive. Almost every time I'm blindsided, because the mistakes don't always seem like mistakes to me (but they are in the eyes of the boss or coworker). And I'm so exhausted because I can't tell them my diagnoses-- they would be even less empathetic-- and I'm exhausted by my faults and mistakes.
🫶🏻
This is so true. When my world fractured three years ago, I talked about it to EVERYONE. I had to. Some people met me with compassion and some didn’t want to hear it. Just today I told my story again and in a totally different way - through the lens of “I’m so much better now than where I was before.” Healing does come; you WILL be okay.