Dang. My struggle ain't primarily a mental health struggle - though there's plenty of that too- but physical + hormonal and I feel this soooo deeply. ❤️
Thank you for being transparent. As a 63 yr old widow I am stepping into a similar space…lots of trepidation and determination. Looking forward to hearing more.
I love you, and this, so much. It's my and my husband's story, too. Cannot wait to hear y'all discuss on Friday. Thank you for your vulnerability and serving us well.
Thank you so much for your gracious honesty in facing these realities. My husband of 21 years, father of our six kids whom I homeschooled, left me 6 years ago and soon married a high functioning Christian lady, a recent widow. I am still battling the sense of being a burden and having destroyed my children’s lives because of my struggles. I understand you saying that you fight to believe that you are worthy to exist because your life depends on it. I feel like my kids lives depend on it too. They are watching me, and at the end of my life I hope they will be able to say “Mum kept going, kept living, kept growing, kept facing her stuff, kept real, kept soft and humble, kept trusting God. If she can, I can too.” That’s what keeps me coming back from the brink.❤️❤️🙏
So looking forward to this. My husband started therapy a month ago just bc he wants to be a better dad and husband, which he’s already amazing, but I love that he wants to be better. He and his therapist have been talking about some of the unhealthy coping strategies he developed due to my mental issues where he felt he had to take on a lot bc I couldn’t at the time.
It’s both awesome to see him work through that and for us to together learn better ways of interacting, and often a super painful reminder of the burden I was when I was unwell. And even though I know he stayed with me and cared for me out of true love and not obligation or whatever, it’s really really hard to realize what my illness did to our relationship. Especially bc it wasn’t anything I could control.
Thankfully we’re in an amazing place now and he has never resented me for any of it. I often call him a saint for it and he reminds me I would have done the same for him and it’s not sainthood it’s just what loving someone should be.
therapy was so helpful for zach! Zach talks a lot about how he felt like he had to be a martyr for me and it wasn't good for him. It was difficult for me too, to see how much he had to adapt to meet my needs. It's hard not to feel guilty or burdensome. Therapy was good for that too. lol
I'm looking forward to this. I appreciate your courage to be vulnerable and share hard and not fully healed things. I feel much the same and am on a healing journey to see myself, to know myself, more as I am seen and known by God than by my broken perception.
So interested from a different angle- I’ve been having back problems recently to the point that there’s knickers on the floor because I can take them off myself but not pick them up...
I find it super hard to feel I’m not pulling my weight in my marriage even if I didn’t do it deliberately and so wouldn’t choose it...
I think the dynamics are really similar. Anytime there's a partner who is incapacitated in any way, and isn't "pulling their weight", it can make them feel like a burden to the one who's fully capable. (I also have back problems that render me pretty useless sometimes)
Grateful for gentle husbands that don’t make caring for us feel like a burden... thanks for going 1st.
Dang. My struggle ain't primarily a mental health struggle - though there's plenty of that too- but physical + hormonal and I feel this soooo deeply. ❤️
very similar dynamics, i'm sure!
Thank you for being transparent. As a 63 yr old widow I am stepping into a similar space…lots of trepidation and determination. Looking forward to hearing more.
I love you, and this, so much. It's my and my husband's story, too. Cannot wait to hear y'all discuss on Friday. Thank you for your vulnerability and serving us well.
I cried reading this. This is similar to our dynamic. I cannot wait for more. Thank you for sharing ♥️
I relate to every word. Thank you for being so vulnerable. I can’t wait to listen Friday.
I’m REALLY looking forward to this. Lots of the same thoughts/feelings have come up in my relationship. Xoxo
Thank you so much for your gracious honesty in facing these realities. My husband of 21 years, father of our six kids whom I homeschooled, left me 6 years ago and soon married a high functioning Christian lady, a recent widow. I am still battling the sense of being a burden and having destroyed my children’s lives because of my struggles. I understand you saying that you fight to believe that you are worthy to exist because your life depends on it. I feel like my kids lives depend on it too. They are watching me, and at the end of my life I hope they will be able to say “Mum kept going, kept living, kept growing, kept facing her stuff, kept real, kept soft and humble, kept trusting God. If she can, I can too.” That’s what keeps me coming back from the brink.❤️❤️🙏
I am so sorry he did that to you and for the pain that you're carrying. I hope you find the light soon. so much love to you!!
So looking forward to this. My husband started therapy a month ago just bc he wants to be a better dad and husband, which he’s already amazing, but I love that he wants to be better. He and his therapist have been talking about some of the unhealthy coping strategies he developed due to my mental issues where he felt he had to take on a lot bc I couldn’t at the time.
It’s both awesome to see him work through that and for us to together learn better ways of interacting, and often a super painful reminder of the burden I was when I was unwell. And even though I know he stayed with me and cared for me out of true love and not obligation or whatever, it’s really really hard to realize what my illness did to our relationship. Especially bc it wasn’t anything I could control.
Thankfully we’re in an amazing place now and he has never resented me for any of it. I often call him a saint for it and he reminds me I would have done the same for him and it’s not sainthood it’s just what loving someone should be.
therapy was so helpful for zach! Zach talks a lot about how he felt like he had to be a martyr for me and it wasn't good for him. It was difficult for me too, to see how much he had to adapt to meet my needs. It's hard not to feel guilty or burdensome. Therapy was good for that too. lol
What a gift you are. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I'm looking forward to this. I appreciate your courage to be vulnerable and share hard and not fully healed things. I feel much the same and am on a healing journey to see myself, to know myself, more as I am seen and known by God than by my broken perception.
here's to the journey!
So interested from a different angle- I’ve been having back problems recently to the point that there’s knickers on the floor because I can take them off myself but not pick them up...
I find it super hard to feel I’m not pulling my weight in my marriage even if I didn’t do it deliberately and so wouldn’t choose it...
I think the dynamics are really similar. Anytime there's a partner who is incapacitated in any way, and isn't "pulling their weight", it can make them feel like a burden to the one who's fully capable. (I also have back problems that render me pretty useless sometimes)