the hurkle-durkle of it all

wintering volume 1

Oh hey wintering friends. 

Welcome to the first volume of the 2023 wintering season! And this one is loaded!

Occasionally in these letters, I like to introduce you to new words in other languages that offer unique ways of expressing certain feelings and experiences. I love words (obviously) and collect them like little trinkets you put on a shelf. I write them in my journal, in the margins of books, or in singular, one worded notes in my notes app. Sometimes I work them into my writing and conversations, but mostly they sit on my shelf, waiting for their moment. Today feels like a good day to let a phrase have their moment, so I want to introduce to a phrase that hails from Scotland - hurkle - durkle.

To hurkle-durkle is to “lie in bed or lounge about when one should be up and about.”¹ That phrase just gets me. Sometimes what we “should” do holds too much weight over what we need to do. Everything in the created world has rhythms and cycles to its nature and we’re no different. We need to lean into those cycles and let our bodies and minds and routines adapt to our needs and not the other away around. Sometimes, we need to hurkle-durkle. Lay in bed, read a book, watch a show, crochet a blanket, put a movie on for the kids and move your hurkle-durkle to the couch. Order pizza, use paper plates, let the mess be the mess and let the hurkle be the durkle.

**currently writing you this email from a state of hurkle-durkle bliss.**

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In this volume of wintering: 

Something to do
Something to read
Something to watch
Something to remember
Something to feel good about
Wintering where you are

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Something to do : 

It’s time for our third annual wintering mug hunt! The mug is one of the most crucial parts of wintering well. This isn’t just any mug — it’s a mug specifically reserved for winter mornings. It’s a mug you look forward to holding in your hand and drinking something warm and delicious from every morning. When you create these good feeling rhythms, you start to associate the mug with the feelings. So every morning, you’ll wrap your hands around mug shaped serotonin.

It is the official wintering opinion that thrift stores are the best place to find mugs, so take a trip this week! Make it a family tradition and bring the whole family to pick one out. If you already have a mug that you love, get another one!

But hey, no pressure. There’s no right or wrong way, it’s all just for fun. Use the mug you love the most and find something else at the thrift store. Everything I share in this series is more about the process of doing, than the result of the doing.

Have fun, relax, enjoy the process.

When you get your mug, tag me on instagram and we’ll have a little mug show and tell. 

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Something to read : 

Everyone In My Family Has Killed Someone - I’ve been so excited to tell you about this book! It’s not the typical genre that I enjoy, but I could not put it down!  I never guessed who the killer was, chuckled out loud to myself throughout the whole thing, and the more graphic parts were written in a way that weren’t triggering or particularly graphic. The whole story takes place in a ski lodge with a humorously dysfunctional family (the title kind of gives that away - ha!) and I think it’s the perfect little wintering, cozy, easy read. 10/10

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Something to watch : 

Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris (Amazon Prime)
White Christmas (Netflix)

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Something to Remember : 

When I think of “nostalgia,” I think of my parents’ (boomers) nostalgia : 50’s music, black and white musicals, radio shows, milk being delivered to your front steps in a
glass jar….

But I just celebrated my 37^th birthday and I think I’m ready to accept that my own childhood is nostalgic now and so these something to remember sections will be largely the nostalgia of the 90s and early 2000s. 

Since Christmas is quickly approaching, I thought it would be fun to remember the old JC Penny and sears catalogues. I fully remember hovering over these books with my brothers, circling the things we wanted for Christmas. Amazon sends something similar out now and it’s been fun watching my kids do the same things I did when I was their age.

You can browse hundreds of old catalogs right here. Try not to cringe too deeply at the things we considered high fashion and top of the line toys. ;)

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Something to Feel Good About : 

We are in between (American) Thanksgiving and Christmas right now and I just want to talk about my favorite thanksgiving tradition — checking in on Jamal and Wanda. Some of you probably already know who I’m talking about but I’m gonna go through the timeline anyway.

In 2016, Wanda Dench sent out a group text letting her family know what day and time Thanksgiving dinner was going to be. But she didn’t know her grandson, who was included in the group text, had a new number so the number she texted now belonged to a high school student named Jamal Hinton. 

Jamal was confused about who was inviting him to Thanksgiving and texted back, “Who is this?” Wanda, a white woman, and Jamal, a black teenager, exchanged photos, confirming that they were definitely, in no way, related. Ha! Jamal texted back, “You not my grandma. Can I still get a plate tho?” And thus began a now eight year Thanksgiving tradition.

Every year since 2016, Jamal has spent Thanksgiving with Wanda and her family. He now calls her his “other grandma.” They’ve developed a close relationship and get together throughout the year. This is such a heartwarming story of connection and such a beautiful example of what can happen when you open yourself up to connection and friendship.

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Wintering Where You Are : 

I thought it was only right to have this email feature someone from the land of the hurkle-durkle. Eilidh has generously shared with us a little glimpse into her life.

Thank you, Eilidh!

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Hi! My name's Eilidh (pronounced 'Ay-lee') and I live just outside of Edinburgh, Scotland, with my husband Andrew and two sons, Josh (7) and Arthur (4). 

Here in Edinburgh in December/January we often only get five or six hours of proper daylight, and most people have to spend it all in work or school – not ideal! Over the years, I've learned to seek out and appreciate the light we do get and its unique character, like the beautiful shadows and hues that low winter sunlight creates. We enjoy finding our own fun and beauty with light through the winter, with fairy lights everywhere (not just for Christmas!), regular glow-stick disco baths (would highly recommend, for adults as well as kids), and getting out to different festivals through the winter months.

Hogmanay ('New Year's Eve' everywhere else) is a big deal in Scotland, and, until recently at least, was more important in the Scottish calendar than Christmas. We still all get two public holidays at the start of January to recover from the festivities! You can read more about specific Scottish Gaelic new year, or 'Oidhche Challain', traditions here.

While we can often set ourselves unrealistic expectations at the beginning of a new year, I think it can be a good opportunity to practice reflecting on what's gone before - what things do we want to leave behind in the old year, or take with us into the new?

As a working mum of two little ones, it can be really hard to carve out time to reflect, process, and savour life as it is now, amidst the chaos/beauty/disappointment/joy of parenthood and adulthood. When we don’t have that time to pause, in my experience, we often make hurried or bad decisions out of a place of stress and lack, instead of a place of security and peace.

I work at the Scottish Parliament, and the building’s architect, Enric Meralles, included a ‘think pod’ in each Member of the Scottish Parliament's office, to encourage representatives to take time by themselves to reflect on the important decisions they are making. When I see them, I’m reminded about that need to regularly step away from life's demands and restore my perspective, especially amid the long, dark, cold winter months.

How do you find space to reflect and process? What could your ‘think pod’ equivalent be this winter?

I don’t have public social media, but here are three accounts I’m loving just now that I hope might bring you all some joy!

For some of Scotland's beauty + learning some Gaelic phrases - @caldamac

For big, comforting thoughts - @__we_love_you

For beautiful but melancholy music - @shallowalcove

For stunning gouache paintings ft. winter light - @ _hollystapleton_

1. https://www.dsl.ac.uk/entry/snd/hurkle_v1_n1